As it should be ErnstxHanschen Drabbles
by sadyshea
Summary: Spring Awakening This is a collection of ErnstxHanschen Drabbles. Angst, Hatred, Comedy and most importantly romance all included./// ErnstxHanschen slash
1. As it should be

Author's Note: My very first of many HanschenXErnst drabbles. I adore this ship! And more so I ADORE spring awakening! This is not only my first musical fic it's also my first slash ship! It's something different, which I love.

**Bold **will always mean Hanschen's POV

_Italic_ will always mean Ernst's POV

ENJOY! R&R!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but situations and dialogue.

(1) As it should be

" _I love you, Hanschen_.."

"**And you should.."**

The unnatural, apathetic, response stung in Ernst's ears, the effort of making no visible reaction pulled at his mind. Not that Ernst would ever speak down to Hanschen in such a pointual expression, so he meekly twitched in response.

He couldn't understand it; it was so wrong but it had felt so.. **Comfortable**; the full potential of satisfaction being completed in those few moments of connection.

Pulled back to the present by an audible sigh from Hanschen, he smiled.

_And he loved him_.

**It was as it should be.**

End Drabble.

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

Let me know what you guys think!


	2. My Warm Habit

**Plot: **** Ernst reflects on what warms him most.**

**(2) **My Warm Habit

_The breeze licked my cheeks, sending uncomfortable chills down my spine and throughout my body. This regular, daily activity.._

_No. Not activity… Habit. Under the tree._

_Its shadows that it casts upon me do not lessen my chills but only adds to them. _

_Papers shutter, as the wind touched them lightly._

_ Then he appears. Dear Hanschen._

_I am suddenly warmed._

**End story.**

**Don't forget to R&R!**


	3. Arithmetic and Life Calculations

Plot: Hanschen notices a certain peer of his struggling to answer a question in class and feels a moment of pity.

_(3) _Arithmetic and Life Calculations

**Algebra. Mathematics. Numbers..**

**Seeing him squirm in uncertainty under the pressure of the teacher's simple question was positively delightful and entertaining.**

**Poor boy, his lack of self-confidence taking the better of him as the classroom filled with silence besides his nervous shuffling.**

**He stared at his desk, shaking with anxiety, the teacher's face displaying a look of disappointment and frustration.**

**Certainly he was pulling his mind apart, searching for the answer he knew he wouldn't find. His slim figure shuddered in concentration, which splashed a smirk across my face.**

**He looked back at me, eyes watering; shining beautifully. His gaze was pleading but he kept it longer then any other we had shared. It shattered my heart instantaneously; my compassionless and self centered heart **_broken_** by a pitiful boy's frustrated tears.**

**Defeated, I shot my hand up into the air, concentrating the teacher's attention on me.**

"Yes, Hanschen**?" He asked dismissively. **_**How rude…**_

"Heir Lieben. If I may, answer the algebraic expression you asked of my peer, little Ernst?"** I asked respectfully, a tone I seldom use.**

**I heard a shuffle, presumably Ernst shaking in surprise; embracing a miracle gratefully.**

"No chance." **The teacher growled, brow furrowing further then usual. **_**Even MORE rude!**_

"The answer is seventy five." **I blurted. I bit my tongue, sustaining my habitual look of confidence.**

**The small classroom deadened besides an audible gasp that escaped from Ernst's two little pink lips, my regret disintegrated and a broad smile covered my face.**

**The bell chimed from the courtyard, signaling a change in subject, delaying my infuriated arithmetic teacher's reaction until tomorrow. **

**I jumped to my feet, collected my books, and swiftly exited the classroom, making my way down the thin hallway.**

"_WAIT!"_

**A small, mousy voice called after me, followed with the sound of soft footsteps behind me. I centered myself, and then turned anxiously.**

**The sweet, chocolate brown eyes staring up at me sent shivers down my spine. Wringing his hands nervously; he coughed awkwardly, obviously collecting himself. **

"Yes…?"** I prompted, trying to hide the anticipation that laced my words.**

**He swallowed slowly; avoiding eye contact as he did when was comfortable.**

"_Thank you, Hanschen_." **He murmured softly, gaze kept to the floor.**

**If it had been anyone else, I would have taken offense by his lack of eye contact but because it was Ernst, I took it as admirably which I'm sure he intended.**

**Generally with anyone else I would have nodded in agreement and moved on to the next congratulation I would receive but with Ernst I took in every moment, valuing it greatly.**

**This didn't mean I wouldn't test him.**

"For what, little Ernst?"** I asked, a look of innocence played up my exaggerated unknowing tone.**

**His naivety had not yet graced him with the awareness of such tests, sending a look of confusion and almost disturbance across his face. **

**To my surprise this look was discarded almost momentarily and replaced with a rare, genuine, half smile. I shuddered as the warmth washed through me.**

"_You know Hanschen, I must have been mistaken. " _**He teased.**

_**WAIT.**_ **I blinked my eyes frantically, searching for some kind of explanation of the situation. **_**How did Ernst even know what teasing was?**_

**He began to turn as I reached out instinctively grabbing for his shoulder to face him back towards me, a sensitive look of bewilderment on display.**

**Without even looking to see if there were any spectators, I crashed my lips against his, not waiting for his reaction. **

**Once I pulled away, breathing hard from lack of breath he returned to his regular gaze at the ground.**

"I- I'm sorry." **I apologized, dropping my hands from his shoulders, a wave of disappointment hitting me hard.**

"_No. Don't be. As I said. Thank you." _**He murmured before shrinking away down the hallway, leaving me with only my thoughts.**

_**No. Thank you.**_

End story.

Please R&R!


	4. Wounded

**Plot: **** Ernst's feelings of how Hanschen has treated him after their 'encounter'.**

(4) Wounded

_Is that all he could promise me of this: to use me? Let some of his sexual frustration out on me? _

_The manipulative creep!_

_He took advantage of me at a point at which my vulnerability took the better of my judgment. _

_His sweet, promising words of a beautiful future: if beautiful means being alone with the suffocating denial of emotions then what he said might be true._

_A permanent scar is held upon my lips from when he made his "impression", forever reminding me of my regrets. _

_Promises of love, devotion and loyalty were held inside that connection then shattered later when he decided that he would act like he knew nothing of our moment, rather, HIS moment._

_I thought of him as an angel; the gorgeous blond who would rescue me from my insecurities and questioning. But of course not, this was not my fairy tale; it was his._

_I assume it was unproductive of me to think that I was the answer to his prayers. He saw me of nothing but another pawn in his exploration of sexuality. At least he found his results._

_He simply left me bleeding, unwilling to attend to the wound he had slashed across my chest. The feeling of betrayal seeping out in a warm, iron scented trail every step he took away. No antiseptic could lessen the pain._

_The names he accused me of days later: "sinner", "freak", "faggot". With every one, he dripped a bit of salt into my already stinging gash. Yet because of my meek nature, I had no objection so I lowered my gaze furthered to the ground in shame and self -loathing._

_He taught me to love and hate._

_Love him._

_Hate myself for loving him._

_And with that, I finish the wound he began with a final swipe: a cold blade against skin._

**End story.**

**Please R&R!**


	5. Sweet Angel

Plot: Hanschen explains his beliefs and describes his own angel.

Inspiration Word: Faith

(5) Sweet Angel

**Do you believe in angels? For I do. Make all the speculations you would like, I don't mind. I am sure they exist because I know one. **

**His beauty is unique, soft yet very prominent. Pale with warm brown eyes that intimidate almost anyone because of all the innocent wonder they hold within. His kindness, selflessness and silence are his gifts to the world. **

**His presence is undermined by most, but the rare word that escapes from his lips graces us all. **

**His love overwhelmingly strong; kisses shed passionately. Loyalties vocalized.**

** I believe in my angel. **

End story.

Please R&R!


	6. Pond Adventures with Hanschen and Ernst

**Plot: ****Ernst arranges a romantic outing for him and Hanschen, until Hanschen decided that he hates water.**

Inspiration Word: Waves

(6) Pond Adventures with Hanschen and Ernst

"ARGHHHHHH!" Hanschen cried out, throwing his hands up into the air.

Ernst rolled his eyes, ignoring the blonde's overdramatic evaluation of the current situation.

"I can't believe I agreed to this!" Hanschen continued with a complaining tone.

Ernst eyes fell to the ground of the simple boat he had constructed for this exact occasion. He had thought it would be a romantic outing with the one he loved so much.

"I just thought-" He murmured but then bit his tongue in regret, knowing that Hanschen's reaction would be anything but understanding.

"You thought you'd get us lost out here in this crappy excuse for a boat so you could persuade me to kiss you again?" Hanschen accused harshly.

Silence: nothing but the weak waves of the pond lapping against the side of the boat. One single tear shed from Ernst's lowered eyes.

Hanschen sighed, realizing the effect that his words had taken on the vulnerable Ernst.

"I-I'm sorry." He stuttered, leaning towards Ernst ever so slightly.

"I can't believe I thought you felt the same way." Ernst mumbled, ashamed but with an angry undertone.

He shuddered as a wave of frustration rocked through him.

"No. Ernst. My poor, little Ernst. I do. I do… feel the same way." Hanschen objected, reaching out a hand to caress Ernst's chin.

Ernst brushed his hand away, his gaze remaining down.

"Don't try your games again, Hanschen." He warned dismissively, inching further into his side of the boat.

Hanschen let out a moan of frustration as he leaned onto one side of the boat's edge.

"Alright. Ernst. Do you want to know the truth?" Hanschen offered, hopeful that the boy would respond.

"Don't waste your _precious_ breath." Ernst concluded.

Hanschen rolled his eyes before he answered, "I admire your ability to love without discretion but you must understand I am very different then you. Someday in the future I hope that I will be able to say those three wonderful words to you. But at this moment I would be lying if I said so. So you're right, I don't feel the same way as you. Yet I know for a fact that I will over time, just not RIGHT now. "

Ernst lifted his eyes meekly, a flicker of belief apparent.

"And the boat?" Ernst asked, almost cheekily.

"It was a very lovely gesture. In the future, may our meetings be on land?" Hanschen requested, a smirk appearing on his face.

"Alright, Hanschen. Under the tree as always?" Ernst asked, smiling and offering a hand to shake.

"Agreed." Hanschen responded, accepting the hand but pulling Ernst closer to kiss him softly.

The sudden transference of weight caused the small boat to turn over, sending the two boys into the murky pond water below.

When they resurfaced, Hanschen scowled, dripping wet.

"ERRRRRRNSTTTT!" He screamed.

"On land." Ernst agreed, before pulling Hanschen into another passionate kiss.

**End story.**

**Please R&R!**


	7. Beautiful Pain

_Plot: __Hanschen speaks of the pain Ernst causes him._

Inspiration word: Excruciating

(7) Beautiful Pain

**The poison of his timid gaze stung my veins, his lips fatal.**

**Genuine, thoughtful words made the crimson seep from my blessed ears. **

**His sigh gave me no reason to use my lungs ever again.**

**Ernst's love would surely be the most beautiful pain I had ever felt.**

**--**

_End story._

_Short and sweet. Please R&R!_


	8. My dear lord and Sinning

Plot: Ernst weighs out his future with the two very 'diverse' paths he has created for himself.

Inspiration word: Balance

(8) My dear lord and Sinning

_I can't begin to imagine how this came upon me; my yearning to honor my dear lord and this __**bitter- sweet desperation for something sinful**__._

The peaceful, warm breeze flutters through the tall grass of the hill. Sheer white cuts through the green forming into an eventual steeple.

Harmonious melodies leak from inside, reaching out to dance upon the everlastingly rolling hills to grace the ears of those who pass by. Biblical excerpts drank in by my many spectators; eyes full of belief and shared understanding.

Blonde and breathtakingly beautiful, she sits in the first pew, smile bore and cheeks warmed by a proud honor to be mine: the pastor's wife.

Youthful, our children sit along side her, heads bowed in a prayer for a sinless world. Their instinctive innocence contradicts with all I have taught them, leaving their minds aged significantly further then their physical forms.

The youngest takes my hand; blonde curls bouncing with each step we took down the aisle, her enthusiasm causing an upbeat rhythm to her walk.

After the mass, stories are read, the children lay their darling heads upon their pillows as my wife and I share a gentle kiss: beautiful in it's simplicity.

As we close our eyes, the sun sets leaving a solemn silence upon the hills.

**A cold wind shudders through the previous still of the morning, leaving behind an uncomfortable reality to the small room. The open window reveals a grayed sky, calming in itself.**

**Continuous droplets of water ping against the stone floor: individually disturbing the silence of the space. Footsteps add to the water as feet rush across the chilled floor, a muffled giggle escapes from the mouth of the innocent interruption.**

**Scrawled messages of passion and admiration cover the walls; timeless poetry against cheap pine. Two distinctive scriptures are noticeable to the bystander; an exchange between the two is obvious. Shared sentiments spilled onto the white sheets and tacked to the walls. **

**Blonde and breathtakingly beautiful, he sits on the rickety, aged, wooden chair; smirk bore as his pale complexion reveals his utter indifference and sense of independence.**

**He lifts his chin towards the ceiling, anxiety seeping from his unfocused eyes, praying for me to say the first words of the day. **

**Enlisting my muscles, I push myself from out under the blankets. Lightly, I press my palm against his. Capturing his attention, his icy blue eyes melt as my eyes met his. **

**After his moment of panic, he lowers his head, resting his forehead against mine. Letting a breath escape from his pursed lips, it's warm against my cheek.**

**Capturing my lips aggressively, he lets the anxious temptation build into an intense passion as our mouths connect.**

**As we open our eyes, the sun begins to break through the gray cold of the morning.**

_The obvious adoration I saw in her eyes was almost enough for me to give up my life to the church, TODAY! __**Yet his condescending smirk called me back to the comforting rebellion he had created.**_

_ My two fantasies were at a _perfect** imbalance**

End story.

PLEASE R&R!!

**.**


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